Monday, February 3, 2014

pain in adoption

It has been my experience that there is a lot of pain in adoption. Pain from unfortunate events of the past and pain in dealing with loss. I hear people often say things like "if they were adopted at birth or at such a young age then they'll be fine, they won't remember and they won't suffer or experience pain due to adoption". The truth is adoption always results from a place of tragedy. Children are meant to be raised in their birth families. Therefore in adoption there is always an element of loss and as a result the life is affected regardless of their age at adoption. Adopted children (with the knowledge of their adoption) will eventually face and deal with the loss. For some it will be a difficult road of processing their feelings around the reality of their past resulting in adoption. Some may welcome it and be full of gratitude for the new life they lead; while others may reject the idea all together and attempt avoiding even the thought of it. And then there are the ups and downs of the in-between for many other adopted children unsure of their feelings surrounding their past and the reality of their adoption. The variables for each adoption are different and the way the adopted child receives the reality of it all can't be predicted. The truth is there is grief in adoption. Life is fragile. Children are fragile. Understanding 'the why' for many children is difficult to wrap their little minds around and is potentially a lifelong challenging process. It is heartbreaking that adopted children are faced with such a reality. But while pain is a reality in adoption, there is also so much hope for healing. Life is full of pain whether adoption related or not and God is forever faithful. I trust His invitation on every life and His desire that none would perish but that all would experience His everlasting love. Every life needs the healing love that only God can provide. Praying healing over each one of my precious children for the peace of God to redeem their brokenness.


  1. Adoption can sometimes be painful, but it’s a way to save those homeless children and give them hope for a better future. Whether you adopted an infant or a young adult, what matters is that they feel part of a family and all the overflowing love and care that comes with it.

    Sandra Walker

  2. I dont know how I missed this!?!!?!?!? But I LOOOOOVE it!!! Youre a writer friend! That was all said so beautifully and soooooo true! PREACH!!!!!

  3. You have a beautiful family and I am sure that the love you shower upon these children will definitely help heal any pain they might experience.